For the Life of me

I have never quite understood how some people can look at their own lives, stare at the misery and failure and just shake their head in laziness and hope that one beautiful day it will change.

I can't, for the life of me, understand the reasoning behind that behaviour. It is beyond me. Two and a half years ago my life just turned into disaster. I'm not going to say it was better then now 'cause I have worked on it, however I can say I sure was enjoying it. What did I do? Everything seemed to be beyond of my power. Everything seemed to be impossible to change...

"How do I fix this" Seriously, in the face of destruction and totally annihilation of my life I could only stare at it as a video game thinking, "Where did I save last time... How do I fix this?" and then came the tears...

"Refusing to accept what you cannot change - This is called Trauma"

At least I tried. At least I refused to accept a faith given to me by hands that weren't mine. And in the remains of failures and shattered pieces of an old existence I started to grow. I grew strong, rebuilding what was lost, learning from my previous errors.

The piles that you stand on are usually build naturally and once shattered, I realized, it's not easy to rebuild them. Though I grew stronger, wiser and older I wasn't the same guy I used to be.

Women did not come as easy as I was used to. I was alone. From the beginning, I chose to be. As time grew longer I got stuck to it, unable to get out. Whenever I had been trying to get company I'd get shot down.

Whenever I tried to make myself happy, I'd cut myself in the knees. I had to break out of my shell. I had to change. I had to rebuild what had naturally come easy to me. I was forced to.

"Deciding to change what you cannot accept - This is called Revolution"

I began changing my habits, learning from others. I put dedication, time and effort into achieving my goals.

I am, by definition, great. I am, by definition, the best I can be. I am, by my own account, on my way into reaching my goals.

And, For the Life of Me, I will never stop to succeed at what I want to achieve.

I am, Xtreeme.